Friday, September 6, 2013

the first day(s)


I'm interrupting our vacation journaling (and hope to return to it this weekend) because we had a big week of first days in this house.  On Tuesday, area schools were back in session Keaton attended his first day of 4K.


Of course, we had the obligatory first day of school pics, which always go so smoothly.  It's amazing how my children sit so perfectly still and smile for the camera when they know mom is trying to get that one good shot.

Hahahaha! I wish!

The majority of his "first day of school pics" looked more like this:




I was a bit nervous about Keaton's first day.  While he got used to preschool, I can not say he ever loved it. We made it through the year but a lot of days we all struggled.


Much to my surprise, he didn't complain once on Tuesday morning. He got dressed nicely, got his backpack/shoes/coat on nicely, and stood semi-nicely for pictures.  


And when it was time to head to the bus stop he went willingly. 


The boys will be riding the bus to and from Busha's this year (we do not technically live in our school's "area" so busing from home is not an option)...


So they will wait in the exact same spot their Daddy and Auntie CaS waited when they were kids.

When the bus arrived Keaton was so brave, climbing right up there and finding his seat without looking back.



Collin and I then and hurried from there to school to meet him when he arrived.  He looked a little shell shocked getting off the bus, and was pretty quiet when we finally left his classroom, but when he got home that night he seemed to have adjusted fine.  These last few days have also gone well, he told me last night he likes the bus to school and school but he is "still working up to liking the bus home."  I feel pretty confident now that he is going to be okay.

***

On Wednesday, it was Hutton's special day, his first day of Preschool!


Hutton has been wanting to go to school since the day we first dropped Keaton off at preschool.


So Wednesday morning we packed all of the boys up and headed into town, first going to Keaton's 4K room to hang up his backpack and coat.  Before joining the other kids at play-doh, Keaton ran into the hall to give his brother one last hug and said "have fun, Hutt!" before skipping back into class.


We then walked down to Hutton's room where his teachers gave him a big welcome (they knew him from last year!) and found his coat hook and name on the table.


He founds some toys and I thought that was it, I was going to kiss him goodbye and walk away.  And that's when I saw the bottom lip.  You know the bottom lip.

"But I want you, Mom"

There was some whimpering and then the tears spilled onto his cheeks. I held him tight, I told him it was going to be okay, but all he wanted was his Mama to stay there, by his side.  His teachers are fantastic and distracted him with toys and race cars but as I inched slowly away he kept looking back and running to my side. It was finally time for class to start and while he was racing a car I snuck out. The moment I was gone I heard the wailing.  Collin and I had to walk to the office and on our way back through he was still crying, "I want Mama!" and oh my gosh, my heart broke in two as I walked passed that closed door.


The official report is that he did calm down - and I saw this first hand when I came to pick him up and the kids were walking back to the room - but at recess he saw Keaton and when it was time for Keaton's class to go in they "had a difficult parting," Keaton's teacher told me. Hutt cried, which made Keaton cry - they wanted to stay together and oh my gosh, what am I doing? why am I sending these children out into the world alone????

These last few days have been hard on all of us.  I'm questioning everything, Hutton's scared about returning, and I know the next few partings are going to come with more tears (both his and mine).


I wish I could keep them young forever.  I wish I didn't have to work full-time and could be there for them before and after school.  I wish, I wish, I wish....

I don't know how, Buddy, but I promise you we are going to make it through this...

4 comments:

Tracy Over said...

So cute on the first day!

CAS said...

Ahhh.... Love the pics! It will get better and then you will wish he was holding on tighter and cared that you left. I see this all the time when I teach the 2-3 year old class at church. They start out crying and clinging to the parents and then later they just walk right into class and start playing. You did the right thing by walking by the door, although hard, he will learn to play and make friends and learn that this is what he has been looking forward to all last year.

Amy said...

Oh my! I love their first day of school photos! They have such little personalities you can tell! I wish them both an awesome school year!

Em said...

Oh my... I cried reading this because you so clearly articulating all of the fears I have right now before sending Lucy to her first day on Monday and Lily to a new daycare classroom on her own for the first time. It sounds like everyone is adjusting all right, but my goodness...all of this is definitely heart-wrenching! :( I hope that everyone will continue to do okay (including you, Mama). ::HUGS::