Wednesday, April 24, 2013

spring cleaning our lives

Do you spring clean?  Like the deep, scrub the room down from top to bottom, spring clean?  I remember spring cleaning our mud room in the old house.  We pulled everything (everything!) out of the closet, went to Target to get a new organizer and some buckets to hold dirty towels and dirty bibs/cloth napkins.  I took the garbage can outside and scrubbed it out and even though it was sprinkling, I took the blinds down and hosed them off outside.  I hung those blinds over the garbage can to somewhat dry while I pulled a step ladder out and cleaned the outside of the window.  The room was sparkling when we were done.

Oh look, I found that old post. (Going back and reading these old posts and seeing pictures of our old house is always a bit harder for me than I expect it to be.  Sophie made an appearance in this post and....you guys....I miss that cat so much.  I'm choking back tears now because I hate that she is no longer with us.)

I remember going in the mud room after we finished spring cleaning it and just taking deep breaths.  Everything was organized and tidy; standing in there taking in the sight brought me so much peace.

But I also remember what it felt like mid-clean.  The floors were littered with various items that had been hiding in the closet; some shouldn't have been there in the first place, others belonged there but were not orderly.  Collin and I were tripping over each other trying to work on our respective tasks and more than once we had to step out of the room to collect ourselves and calm down a bit.

We spent 2012 just trying to survive. We spent the year sorting through generous donations, repurchasing items that we needed for the new house and the boys, rebuilding the house from the ground up, welcoming a new son, and moving back into the house (before it was really ready). Pretty much everything besides those big ticket items was put on the back burner - our finances, our health, our diet/exercise routines.

We're 4+ months into 2013, a year we've dedicated to getting our lives back in order. We're trying hard to tackle one project at a time, to not take everything out of the "closet" and sprawl it all over the floor. But it's difficult, because, well, taking it all out and sprawling it all over the floor is kind of the way I clean. The thing is, when we spring clean a room the room gets put back together in a reasonable amount of time: a day, a weekend, maybe a week, but the mess isn't out indefinitely. We're spring cleaning our lives and I feel like we are suspended here, in the anxiety ridden mid-clean, tripping over each other as we work on our respective tasks.  I know it will be worth it in the end - I know one of these days we'll get our lives organized, but in the meantime I'm constantly feeling the need to step out of the room, to take a few deep breaths and try desperately to collect myself.

3 comments:

Tracy Over said...

Hugs. Many hugs. 2013 will be a fresh new year for you guys.

Amy said...

One day at a time, being the best momma you can be, that is all you can do, the rest will be there when you get to it.

CAS said...

It has already been said, but one day at a time is all you can do.
Do not worry about tomorrow as it has enough worries of it's own.. Bible says it best!