Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Dear Nolan: 1 Month

Dear Nolan,

I feel like I should be addressing this letter to ‘Baby Nolan’ because that is almost exclusively what you have been called around here over the past month. Oh Baby Nolan, our son, their brother, we spent months looking forward to meeting you and now we have spent one month getting to know you. Yes, you are already one month old. I’m about a week late in writing this letter, but I find it fitting that I’m sitting down to write it on the night of my due date. Like your brothers, you decided to join us early, and like your brothers, I am happy to have had one extra month holding you on the outside, snuggling you close, studying your hands, listening to your grunts, and smelling your sweet baby head. I know in just a few short weeks time I’ll be sitting down to write your 2-month letter, and then 3-, and 4-, and it goes on and on and suddenly you will no longer be a baby, but my big boy and so in these past five weeks I’ve been trying to soak in every bit of you. When you were just a week old, I looked up at your Daddy with tears in my eyes and said “I don’t want him to get big; I want him to stay this small forever!” And since then I often find myself holding you tight, as if to stop you from growing. Unfortunately I have not found my superhuman powers yet because growing you are. I’m not sure what you weighed at exactly one month, but a week before that we were at the doctors and everyone had been asking me how much you weighed – oh, I’d guess at least 7 pounds by now, I’d tell them. So you can say I was a bit shocked when they put you on the scale and you weighed in at 8 lbs 4 oz, I may have even let out an audible, whoa! You had put on almost two full pounds since birth and jumped, percentile wise, on the growth charts.

Photo taken by Natural Intuition Photography

I think the first month always goes fast, but your first month went even faster than I expected. This was partially due to being readmitted to the NICU the day after we arrived home from the hospital as a result of jaundice and then the almost daily doctor appointments once we were able to go home for a second time, partially due to all we have on our plate right now with the rebuilding of our house and taking care of inventory and sorting and packing as a result of the fire, and mostly due to the weekends being packed full. In your first month you traveled to the cabin in Rhinelander (you were only six days old on your first trip Up North!), to Madison for a wedding, and to Milwaukee for a reception. And you did it all, for the most part, with ease. Yes, you’ve been a great little traveler this month and Daddy and I were thrilled to show you off to so many of our family and friends.

Photo taken by Natural Intuition Photography

This first month you spent most of the day time hours sleeping and it was obvious early on that you thought sleeping at night was stupid. This is what has led us down the co-sleeping path once more. You sleep just fine when snuggled up next to me and so, out of necessity, I’ve pulled you into bed with me because, well, I need sleep. Although I’m not complaining one bit, I love having you tucked in next to me all night long. And so for now the bassinet sits next to our bed, hardly used. I’m hoping as the months go on and we establish a bed time routine you’ll at least be able to start out in there, but for now, we’re just going with the flow.

Photos taken by Natural Intuition Photography

They say that each child has a role to play in the family dynamics and on Easter Sunday, as we sat outside with family and I felt you moving around inside of me, Busha told me that the third baby is supposed to be the lover, the one to bring the family together and tie them with love. While it’s too earlier to determine your personality, I can say that this role for you has held true. While Daddy and I knew we loved you with all of our hearts before you were even here, we weren’t sure how your brothers would react to your arrival. But you are our third child, the lover, and we shouldn’t have fret, because those brothers of yours, well, you are the apple of their eyes. For two little boys who spend 80% of their day jumping off of things, digging in mud and dirt and grime, and fighting and wrestling, they are so gentle (or try to be) with you. Since the moment they saw you they were in love. One of my favorite memories of this month was the day we came home from the hospital the second time. You and I were in the car and we drove to Papa & Busha’s to pick up your Dad and brothers. The instant I pulled in the driveway Keaton started running around the yard saying “I’m so happy!” and before I was even out of the car they both came running. Having left them abruptly the day before I thought it was me they were happy to see. Oh, how foolish I am, I opened the back door to get you out and turned for just a second to say hi to your Dad, when I turned back around Keaton and Hutton had both climbed into the car “Baby No-win! Hi Baby No-win!” There was no hello for Mommy, just Baby Nolan. They love you so much little boy and I’m confident they will protect you and watch out for you for many, many years to come.

Photo taken by Natural Intuition Photography

At one month you are wearing newborn sized clothes and either newborn (the ones we need to finish up) or size one diapers.  You love being cuddled and held tight. You ride really well in the car and seem to like the incline of your car seat. You also love going for walks and riding in our Boba Wrap. You don’t mind bath time but hate when I wipe you down with a wet wash cloth. In just the past few days you’ve started having a problem with gas or reflux, we’re not really sure yet, but it has led to us trying to find the sweet position that calms you down. And that sweet position? For now, it’s having you crouch on my legs while I bounce you up and down.  At one month you’ve also just started focusing on things, especially Daddy’s hat, and I can tell that you see me when I walk in front of the bassinet during diaper changes. While I wish you could stay this little forever, these developments do make me really excited about the month to come.

I love you so much Baby Nolan,


Anonymous said...

Oh Kate,
I love reading these posts. You do such a great job expressing your love for your boys. It's really amazing.


Ashleigh said...

I have a feeling this third one is going to grow up to quickly as well! Happy 1 month Baby Nolan!

Anonymous said...

Beautiful! And...now I want to meet that photographer. She took wonderful pictures & her website reveals a great spirit.

CAS said...

AWWWW I love seeing these pics and hearing about how loved he is. His big brothers are very protective as I held him at the Wedding they wanted their Mommy to hold him. I love it! What a perfect family! Yes- if you find a way to keep him this tiny please do- I hate missing all the growing stages.