Last night we were sitting at the dinner table and Keaton strategically placed his cloth napkin between us and said, "we share." It was immediately after I'd taken a bite of my sandwich and had ketchup running down my hands (hey, I like ketchup) and so I picked that napkin up and said "Thanks, honey. I will use that. I have crap all over my hands."
As soon as the words came out of my mouth I cringed and looked a Collin, mouthing "I shouldn't have said that."
I was expecting him to parrot it back immediately, but he didn't. He took a bite of his sandwich and as he chewed we were dead silent, hanging on suspense. Finally he picked up the napkin, rubbed his hands off on it and said "Tee use napkin too. Tee has a lot of crap on my hands."
This reminded me off a story from a few weeks ago, it was a Wednesday morning and we had plans which meant we needed to be out of the house at a very specific time. I wheeled the highchair and booster seat into the kitchen so the boys would be right next to me during breakfast as I packed their bag. I was filling snack cups for the ride and pulled out the sippies for water. I unscrewed the first one and the plug that prevents the sippy from leaking was missing.
God Damnit. I said in my mind. Who puts the sippy away not put back together??!!
Then I unscrewed sippy number two and the. exact. same. thing.
"What the fuck?" I muttered.
Immediately, from two feet behind my I hear:
"Momma say, wha da fak?"
I know it's best not to make a big deal about this so very calmly and sweetly I say to him:
"Oh no. No, we don't say that."
But as I turn around I see his eyes are big and he's slowly nodding his head in the affirmative.
"Yeah. Momma say. Wha. Da. Fak."
And all I can think is, well that's going to be terrific when he repeats it in public.