A Poem from the Baby

I wrote this during one of my first-trimester-sleepless-nights and we sent it to our moms following our last OB appointment.

*****

Dear Busha/Grammy,

They won’t find out
if I’m a girl or a boy
because either way
I’ll be a great joy.

I can suck my thumb
and wiggle my toes;
someday I’ll play with trucks
or wear pink bows.

They say its 4 months
before I’ll be here;
I can’t wait for the kisses
and snuggles so dear.

To bide the time
until I’m home to stay,
would you like to come see me
on my ultrasound day??

10:45 a.m.
Wednesday, March 31st
Wausau

Love,
Baby Kono II

*****

Our ultrasound is tomorrow and you could say I'm just a wee bit excited about seeing this baby again.

Haircut Time?

I stepped away from bath time a couple of weeks ago to switch a load of laundry and grab Keaton's towel. I came back to this.

Collin's latest attempt at convincing me it is time for a haircut.

Like alot of babies, when Keats was an infant he rubbed off the hair on the back of his head.

It left him with a sort of old-man-bowl around the bottom, bald in the middle, and well, almost a mohawk on top.

I know the bottom/sides and top could use a trim. His bottom hairs are getting so long they are starting to curl.

But a haircut would mean my little boy is becoming a big boy. And that thought is hard on Mama.

I promised Collin we'd do it before his 18 month picutes.

That only gives me a little over 3 months to continue to delay the haircut time.

Soul in the Season: Spring 2010

I think we've all been holding our breath around here; trying like mad to enjoy the beautiful spring weather but thinking in the back of our mind there's surely more snow to come. In fact, it was in the forecast for this weekend but so far it has bypassed us. Regardless, since this is officially the first day of spring I thought it was about time I thought about my soul season list and wrote it down here. Since we are nearing the end of March it feels like this season will be shorter than the others, but even if it is the thing that I love most about spring is that it offers so much promise and hope. The things I want to do this season:

* Take Keaton to see the Easter Bunny and color Easter eggs.

* Plant an herb garden (and possibly our vegetable garden, though this might fall into my summer list).

* Spring cleaning project: sort, organize, and clean our closet and dresser.

* Take Keaton to the zoo.

* Buy tulips for the kitchen table.

* Make a carrot cake from scratch.

* Help Collin clean up the flower beds and lawn.

*********

I also thought this might be a good time to review my winter list, which, ummmm, well, didn't go quite as well as I would have liked. When I wrote this list I was just newly pregnant and I forgot how the first trimester kicks me in the butt. I did a few things, but not nearly as many as I would have liked.

* Go snowshoeing. Nope. This didn't happen. I thought about it alot and talked about it often but by the time the weekend rolled around I was so worn out that doing anything more than sitting on the couch seemed like agony.

* Take Keaton to see Santa. I didn't blog about it, but we did take Keaton to see Santa. We went with a friend of mine and her son to a lights festival in Marshfield and Santa was there. It was cold out that night and since we were walking through the display we had Keaton all bundled up. The experience was kind of a non-event as we didn't want to sit around outside any longer than we had to, but at least we got his first picture with Santa.

* Pull Keaton around in a sled, in the snow. Done. And he loved every second of it.

* Spend an afternoon (or at least a few hours) reading a book in front of the fire. I read a chapter or two. Does that count? Probably not. I did enjoy sitting in front of the fire, but instead of reading I was concentrating on not dying. Oh man, that first trimester.

* Make chicken or turkey noodle soup from scratch. I didn't do this either. It's going to have to go back on the list next year because I really, really want to do this.

* Bake Christmas cookies. My winter list has been hanging on the fridge since December and as we did some of these things Collin has been checking them off. He checked this one as complete and I think that was based on the couple batches of peppermint bark I made. I guess I'll go with that. I really wanted to make some other cookies, but again, spending your time not dying is hard work.

* Start/continue some traditions for St. Nick's Day, St. Lucia Day, and Valentine's Day. We did celebrate St. Nick's Day. In fact, St. Nick was very generous this year and brought Keaton two new books and his first nativity set. Taking Baby Jesus out of the manger was his favorite part.

I was out of town over Valentine's Day weekend but when I got home Sunday night we gave Keaton a Valentine's book and indulged on Grammy's heart-shaped cut-out cookies. We didn't celebrate St. Lucia Day but I'm hoping in future years we do since it honors my Swedish heritage.

* Drink hot chocolate with marshmallow's on top. I didn't do this either. But marshmallows are Keaton's favorite treat, so I did eat my fair share of those.

20 weeks

• I'm not the only one that hates taking these pictures, right? Mostly because I always think next time I should really, like, fix my hair or something. But then the next picture day rolls around and I'm all, awww, crap, I don't feel like doing it today, next time! Then I look at the picture and think, yeah, I should have fixed my hair. So anyway, next time!
• Just for comparison sake: here was my 16 week picture and my 21-week picture with Keaton.
• As much as I hate taking these pictures, I'll continue to do so because I love being able to make these comparisons.
• You might have seen on Twitter last week that on mentioned that overnight I popped. I am not even kidding, it happened on Wednesday March 10th, 1 day shy of 19 weeks. I left work on Tuesday with the "hmmm, she might be getting fat" belly and came in on Thursday morning with the "oh, holy cow, she's pregnant" belly. As I was rereading that 21 week post from Keaton's pregnancy it sounds like it happened at about the exact same time with him.
• We had our 20-week apt. with the Doctor yesterday and it went well. We spent the most time talking about fiber supplements and my horrible reactions to the laxative I tried taking. If you know me, I'm sure this does not surprise you.
• He measured my fundal height for the first time. At least I think it was the first time, I've been having terrible pregnancy brain lately so I guess I can't remember for sure if it was, but I think so. He didn't tell us how it measured, we were probably too busy talking about fiber, and I forgot to ask. I'm assuming it was on target since he didn't say anything.
• Then he measured the heart rate, which was 140 bpm. This baby's heart rate has consistently been around 140 whereas Keaton's was always around 160. For some reason I find that very interesting. Collin and I were talking the other day that we have a feeling this baby's personality is going to be completely different from Keaton's. Maybe the slower heart rate means this baby will be less active?
• We finished up the appointment by scheduling our ultrasound. Yay!! It is 2 weeks from yesterday and then we will go back in 4 weeks for our next appointment. I can not wait to see this little babe again.
• In other baby related news, we taught Keaton that the baby is in my belly. Or, well, in 14 month talk, my belly is "baby". When we ask "where's baby?" or tell him to "give the baby a kiss" he pulls up my shirt and touches/kisses my belly. Then he pulls my shirt back down and waves bye bye. It's pretty adorable.

Signs of Spring

Do you see them??

Those are the first buds of our tulips.

I took this picture on the day of our final sled ride, March 6th.

These are the same buds one week later; this past Sunday.

In one week's time we transitioned from snow-on-the-ground-full-blown-winter to 60-degree-days-spring and I'm gonna be honest with you, I'm digging this current weather. I'm not one to typically diss on winter, I'm actually quite fond of winter, but this year? This year I'm looking forward to the new season.

This past weekend we spent Saturday down in Milwaukee at E & M's birthday parties. It was so fun to see all the cousins, especially the three little boy cousins, play. Saturday was cool and a little dreary, so it was a good day to be traveling and inside playing.

On Sunday we went to church, ran a few errands and were planning to go grocery shopping when we looked at the temp in the car, saw that it read 58 degrees and decided unanimously that we should forgo grocery shopping to go home and play outside.

It was the first time that Keaton got to run around in the yard and it was a whole new experience for him. Walking around out there isn't the same as walking around on the flat floor inside. At first it took some concentration.


But soon enough he got the hang of it and he his arms were a flappin' and he was screaming 'ahhhh' with delight.

It was so fun to see him out there and it makes me excited for all the new experiences this next season will have to offer. I can't wait to see the world through his eyes.

Of course all that fresh air is good for many reasons; one of which is that it produces very tired little boys.

For Tonight

It was 11:05 when I finally made my way to bed. I pulled down the covers, snuggled in, and tried to make my way to dreamland. At 11:13 I heard your first squeak and my eyes instantly popped open and looked at the clock. I listened intently, wondering if you were really awake or just passing through a light phase of sleep. Within seconds you were whining and I knew you were up. I wanted to jump out of bed that instant but we have a 10 minute rule where we wait it out to see if you can console yourself and fall back to sleep without assistance. Most nights this isn’t hard to do, I don’t usually want to get up and typically by about minute 7 you have quieted down. This night was different. I had to force myself to stay in bed and I painstakingly watched every minute tick by.

When the obligatory time was up I swung my legs out and planted my feet on the ground. I walked into your room and scooped you up and instantly you settled down, put your head on my shoulder and snuggled into my body. As I sat in the glider my head was telling me this was not a good habit to start. When the new baby comes we need you to be able to put yourself back to sleep every night. But despite what my head was saying, my heart said that at this moment I was exactly where I wanted to be.

In four and a half short months you will no longer be the baby. You will be my big boy; the older brother to your little brother or sister. That thought both excites me and makes me a little sad. On nights like this, when you need mid-night consoling, it will likely be Daddy who will have to take the job as I will be busy nursing the baby throughout the night.

So for tonight I don’t care what my head says, I’m going to hold you close to me, rock you and breathe in your sweet scent. We’ll worry about bad habits later, for tonight you are still my baby.

Sled Rides

It rained today and the white snow blanketing the yard is now intermittently specked with shades of brown and green where the grass is peeking through. As I looked out the window this afternoon and realized the snow was melting away I was very thankful for all the sled rides Keaton got to go on last week and this past weekend. This boy loves the sled.

Sometimes he opens his mouth wide and screams Ahhhhh! as if he were on a giant roller coaster.

Sometimes Daddy pauses so Keaton can touch the trees.

Little things are such a wonder when you are a child.

The whole time he is happy and his face is often laced with smiles like these.

Slow Down

I hate living in a dirty/messy house. I don’t function well when things aren’t organized, but during weeks 6-11 of pregnancy I can hardly get off the couch to feed myself, let alone vacuum the crevices of the living room. So I don’t. And thankfully, for the sanity of everyone in this household, I don’t care. Collin did the best he could to keep the house clean during those weeks and I’m very grateful for that. But when you have a toddler and animals (OMG, the animals!!) the house is bound to become dirty. Now that my first trimester is over and I’m feeling good again I’ve started cleaning. Deep cleaning. I only plan on 2 rooms per week. With the toddler’s daily messes and the dog/cat hair (OMG, the hair!) that require bi-weekly vacuuming/sweeping I know I would not be able to accomplish much more than that.

Last Saturday I scrubbed the dining room clean. The floor, the windows, the furniture. On Sunday it was the living room. We sorted toys, cleaned the mantle, moved furniture to vacuum. I knew at the time it was probably too much and when I lay in bed on Sunday evening, my whole body aching, I was certain of it. On Monday I had to leave work early because I felt so lousy.

I told everyone I think I over-did it. My body just didn’t feel right.

Yesterday, and again this morning, I think I found out why. I’ve been spotting again. It’s brown blood, the “good” blood, but it still scares the crap out of me. I don’t know for sure that it was this weekend’s activities that caused it, but I feel it might have been.

I need to slow down.

The doctor warned me that this might happen; that as it heals I might have incidents where “it” tears again. Seeing the blood yesterday morning wasn’t shocking to me, but still, I cannot shake the fear of what it could mean - the risk of going early. I try not to spend too much time dwelling on it, but I’m nervous I’m going to go too early. I’m nervous that this baby is going to come before he/she is ready. And all I could think yesterday is that I need to do everything I can to prevent that.

I need to slow down.

Under the Big Top

It has only taken me TWO MONTHS to get around to writing this post. At this point it seems like maybe we should just skip right over it, but even if it was two months ago, I have to document Keaton's 1st birthday party somewhere.

When Collin and I started talking about this party we had a couple of theme ideas floating around in our heads. In the end, we chose a circus theme. Invites went out in the middle of December and on January 2nd we celebrated Keaton's 1st birthday 'Under the Big Top'.

One of the things I love most about my husband is that when I come up with wacky ideas, he always figures out a way to pull them off. I told him early on that I wanted to turn our dining room into a circus tent and we decided together to use plastic table clothes. But that's about where my involvement ends; I have no idea how one would actually construct this. My mom, Amanda, and I went grocery shopping at 8 pm the night before the party and when we left our dining room was just a dining room. I was starting to think the tent might not happen, and I was trying to be okay with that. But when we pulled in the driveway after our trip the dining room light was on and Collin and my Dad were hard at work. They put the tent up Friday night using tape to secure it to the walls. Before bed Collin worried that it was going to fall. When we woke up Saturday morning, sure enough, it had all come down. I was still laying in bed when I heard Collin start the drill. At that point I new they were getting serious. They hung fishing wire around the perimeter of the room and also strung a line between the two chandeliers in our dining room/breakfast nook area. In the end, the tent was exactly what I envisioned.

Looking in from the kitchen

Looking in from the living room

In keeping with the circus theme, the menu included corn dogs, hot dogs, nachos and cheese, peanuts, and, of course, popcorn! We also had some more "adult friendly" food, but even the adults got into it and enjoyed a corn dog with nachos.

Picture taken by (and stolen from) Cas

I believe we had 9 kids at the party and we bought a couple of games to play but didn't end up taking them out because the kids were thoroughly entertained by our professional balloon shapers. Okay, maybe they weren't professional, but they did make some mad shapes! These balloon hat thingys were especially a hit. Thanks Ben and Justin!

While out shopping after Thanksgiving my mom and I also found this circus sign that worked perfect for the party. The kids/siblings all got their picture taken by the sign and I included a copy of the picture in their thank you cards. Keaton thought it was fun.

And Maia got in on the action too!

Of course no birthday party would be complete without a cake. I ordered this from Sweet Nothings and when I placed the order all I told her was that the party was a circus theme. When Amanda and I went to pick it up on Friday afternoon I really had no idea what to expect. But Holy Cow, I could not have been more pleased. The detail of the clown and seal, which were all made of fondant, were just amazing.

Picture taken by (and stolen from) Cas

We used a separate smash cake to sing Happy Birthday and let Keaton dig in.

We tried getting a picture of us and of both sets of grandparents with the birthday boy. But Keaton was more interested in smearing frosting on other people's faces and we found out with all the excitement it's hard to get three people to look at the camera at the same time.

Keaton probably says it best himself. DOH!

We ended the day opening gifts and the Stink got so many awesome things: some much needed age appropriate toys, a couple new books, and some really cute clothes.

It was a perfect day and we are so happy and thankful for all of our family and friends who were here to share it with us!

A very special thank you goes out to Em, who helped me with the invites, my cousin Andrea, who manned my camera and got all these great pictures, and our family members who made food and ran errands for us leading up to the party. And last but not least, to my parents and Amanda who came up two days early to help us get the house cleaned and food prepared. I was 9 weeks pregnant at the time of the party and in the thick of my first trimester hell. At one point I left to go shower and didn't emerge from my room for almost 2 hours because I laid down and could not get back up. To say this party would not have been possible without all of their help is no understatement. We are so grateful and so appreciative!