Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Enjoying Today

Oh wow, it has been so long since I've been on here and shared an "Enjoying Today" post. I have so many posts in the hopper but for tonight I thought I'd give you a quick update on what's been going on around here.

Vacation. Oh vacation. I was looking so forward to you. If you were following along on Twitter then you already know that our vacation sucked. With a capital S. Story to come but what was supposed to be a little work and lots of relaxing vacation ended up being alot of work and little relaxing vacation.

While we were on vacation my Google account was hacked. I was able to take care of resetting my password on my phone and get my emails and blog up and running again but when we got home and I tried to log in on our computer I must have typed the password wrong and got locked out of my account again, which is why you didn't hear from me last week. By the time I finally got into my account we already had house guests and were in full swing baptism preparation mode.

Yesterday was our first day back to our "normal" schedule and I was in a funk all day. Today it rained so we spent the day organizing our den. Our poor den that becomes the dumping ground for all things that need a home. It was a disaster. It's not perfect yet but oh boy is it alot better than it was.

First thing in the morning I'll be making a call to Hutt's pediatrician. This evening he was intensely screaming while I was changing him and I noticed a large lump in his groin area. I called Collin in immediately and my first thought was: hernia. Of course I got online right away to see what I could find out about infant hernias and I'm afraid I might be right. It says they are common in premies, are usually on the right side, can pop out when crying/straining/etc. all of this fits the bill. Thankfully when he calmed down I checked him again and it was no longer there, which, by the reading seems to be a less serious one. I'll keep you posted.
On Thursday I'll be heading back into my doctor's office for a biopsy. At the beginning of my pregnancy with Hutt I had a routine pap done that came back abnormal. At the time they weren't overly concerned and said lets wait until after the baby is born, I guess abnormal paps can be common during pregnancy. At my 6-week post birth apt I had the follow-up done, which also came back abnormal. I'm a little nervous about the whole thing, but will also keep you posted.
This is my last full week of maternity leave; I go back to work next Thursday. I'm sad that my time home is coming to an end and I'm nervous about transitioning into a new "normal" but overall I feel better about this return then I did the first time around. Right before I left I accepted a new position at work and so I'm excited to start in my new roll. This time around I also know that even if I have to leave them during the day I will still be their Mama and they will still love me. The first time I had to do this I was going back to a job that I was getting bored with and I had a fear that by being away from Keats all day would damage our relationship. So even though I would still do anything to be a SAHM my attitude this time around is different - this is our situation so I might as well make the best of it, both at home and at work.
Tomorrow is September 1st, otherwise known as the start of my diet. It was supposed to start August 1st but that date kinda came and went with no progress made. I'm breastfeeding so I won't be restricting calories but I do need to think through my calories - make healthier choices. I've gained alot of weight since the beginning of our journey to parenthood: 10 lbs in the 10 months we were trying to conceive with Keaton, 10 lbs that never came off after I had Keaton, 7 lbs that I put on after I stopped breastfeeding Keaton (which was 1 month before I got pregnant again), and almost another 10 that haven't come off since having Hutton. So quick math says I have about 35 lbs to loose. Damn that number is daunting. So instead I'm going to take it in small steps and celebrate each victory: prepegnancy Hutton weight, pre end of breastfeeding Keaton weight, prepregnancy Keaton weight, pre ttc weight. Even more importantny than the actual pounds though I want to get back into the jeans that I bought before I got pregnant with K. They are cute jeans and the thought of parting with them when I haven't even worn them that much makes me sad. Naturually, on the night before the diet start I consumed about a bazillion cookies. I rock.
I think that gets you up to date. I'll have a vacation post coming soon. Actually, several vacation posts as I think I'm going to do seperate picture posts because despite the suck there were some really good moments. The problem I'm having is that this new computer is not allowing me to download all of the pictures off my camera. I keep getting an error message saying the file is corrupted. So I have to save each one indiviually. I know there has to be a way around this but computer savy I am not....anyone??

Sunday, August 29, 2010

On your Baptism Day


For the past few days this house has been busy. Busy cleaning, busy getting the lawn in tip top shape, busy preparing food, and busy setting up tables decorated in blue and white. All of this work and this afternoon’s house full of family and friends was in honor of you my little man, as today you were baptized.

We’ve been looking forward to this day for a long time. We took the baptism class through church in March and set the official date in June, all before you even arrived. Yesterday, as I was busy making the grocery list a lady from a local church stopped by our house prophesying and handing our literature. As I stood at the door she asked me why I thought bad things happen in this world and I went completely blank. I couldn’t form a coherent thought and all I wanted to do was shout out, my son is being baptized tomorrow!!
Our faith is very important to your Daddy and me. As parents there are many things we hope for you and your brother, we hope that you will be kind and gentle with your words, not only to your loved ones but, maybe more importantly, to those that you don’t know. We hope you will work hard and that your persistence will result in great achievements. In those achievements, we hope you will be humble. We hope that you will know that the greatest treasures in life are family and friends, not material things. And maybe most of all, we hope that your faith will be an integral part of your life; that you will turn to God when you need strength and give him glory when you are blessed.

Today was the start of your faith journey and through the years I pray that this journey will be a wonderful one for you.

I believe God was looking down on you and smiling today as he blessed us with a gorgeous day for a party. We left early this morning for church so that we had enough time to get you dressed in Bender Family baptismal gown. This gown never fails to turn heads as it is over 100 years old. You are the 14th family member to be baptized in this gown that was originally made for your Great Great Grandpa. The Great Great Grandpa that also happens to be your namesake:
Great Great Grandpa Harold Hutton-1889
Great Grandma Phyllis (Hutton) Bender-1919
Great Aunt Cynthia -1949
Great Aunt Candy -1955
Great Uncle Bryan -1958
Cousin Andrea -1973
Cousin MaLinda -1974
Mother Kate -1980
Cousin Emma -2002
Cousin Caden -2004
Cousin Mason -2008
Brother Keaton – 2009
Cousin Jackson – 2009
You (Hutton) - 2010

You did beautifully during mass, not making a peep. Following mass, when the baptism ceremony takes place, you did fine. When Father poured the water over your head you fussed a little and because of it Father took a little longer patting your head dry, which left extra time for pictures (good job, buddy!!). It wasn’t until we were all standing up front when Father anoints you with oil and your Godparents, Auntie Jenny and Uncle Matt, get your baptism cloth and the light of Christ that you lost it. You screamed, and screamed, and screamed. I know Father was saying something but I’m not sure what it was as I was trying really hard to quiet you. It was 2 to 3 minutes into the scream fest that you pooped and then you settled down. Unfortunately, you were screaming and pushing so hard that the force of the crying pushed the poop out your diaper and onto the gown. The gown that100+ years old. Before you were born I thought you were going to be a spitfire, but then you were so calm that first month that I thought my instinct was wrong. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t wrong, I’m pretty sure you will be a spitfire, a spitfire that poops on the family baptismal gown.

The rest of the afternoon was spent celebrating with family and friends. You were held and snuggled all afternoon and you loved every second of it, waking up only to be fed every couple of hours. You are so loved little boy, not only by us but by so many people, and most importantly, by God.

Although you won’t remember this day I hope that you will look back at these pictures and this letter and know that it was special.

We love you,
Mommy & Daddy

Friday, August 13, 2010

5 years

Five years ago today I said 'I do'.

I still do.

Happy Anniversary, Collin!

I love you.

Enjoying Today


This post should have gone up last night but I was too busy, STILL PACKING, at midnight to come sit at the computer.

We didn't do anything overly fun yesterday as it was spent getting ready for vacation - but who can resist squishy baby bathtub pictures?

We intended to leave last night but due to the aforementioned PACKING we decided to wait till morning. And wouldn't you know now we are under severe storms, which doesn't bode well with hauling a trailer. So we waiting it out a bit and hope to get on the road shortly.

We have lots planned for the week at the cabin - a trip to the old Jim Peck's in Minouqua, lunch at Paul Bunyan's, kayaking, lots of walks, swimming at the beach, etc. I'm hoping for a nice relaxing week and wishing you one as well!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

(Not so much) Enjoying Today

I have no pictures to share today because, well, I'm not going to mince words here, today was shitastic!

Hutton was crying and moody all day long. By noon I gave up on trying to figure out what was wrong: was he hungry, dirty/wet, needing to be held, have gas, etc. etc. etc. and decided he was just having a bad day. I couldn't put him down for more than 5 minutes and at one point I left him in the bouncer while I tried to use the bathroom and half way through he was howling so loud I thought he might burst a lung.

After lunch Keaton was climbing on his little plastic chair and I told him to get down because he was going to get hurt and wouldn't you know 0.2 seconds later his leg slipped through the arm rest and flip goes the chair and clunk goes his head, right into the hearth. I ran to him, and like all accidents picked him up looking for blood, but unlike any accident before there actually was some gushing from his head. After calling Collin to come home to look at it I called the doctor and took him in. We had three options, a stitch, glue, or a butterfly strip. We ended up going with glue. It was awful for both of us - they strapped him down on a gurney and he screamed bloody murder. I held his hands the whole time but he was so scared. When it was finally all over he clung to me and his little body was just shaking and he was whimpering. The doctor gave him a graham cracker though and that must have made up for it because he gave her a little wave bye bye.

And then to top the day off our computer took a shit. A big one. Hard drive is shot. I was working on something online when it just shut down on me giving me some error message. After trying to reboot it unsuccessfully, calling Em & Drew to get some advice, and bringing it to the Geek Squad we determined it wasn't worth the $70 for them to do a diagnostic and tell us what we already know, it's dead. We left our external drive with them and for $100 they are going to try to retrieve the information. It's a 50/50 shot.

Sooooo, we bought a new computer tonight. Which is kinda fun. But would be more fun if it was a planned for purchase, you know? But still, New Freakin' Computer!! Woo!

How was your day?

Monday, August 9, 2010

Enjoying Today

Today we enjoyed fresh green beans from Grammy's garden.

We had a good weekend spent with family and friends. We drove down to Illinois on Friday and 10 minutes after arriving at my parents house my mom and I packed up and headed to our pedicure appointments. I needed one so desperately and it was so nice to sit and relax for a half hour or so.
On Saturday we went to the wedding of our friends, Meg & Jeremy, which was beautiful and lots of fun. We got to see people that we haven't seen in awhile and it is always good to catch up.
We packed up Sunday morning and headed to Rockford for a cookout with my extended family to celebrate the Bender August birthdays: Grandpa (91), Uncle Bryan, Kylee (Sweet 16), and my Dad. It was a good afternoon.
We finally got home late last night and I have 8 million things on my mind and to do before we leave for vacation on Thursday. So naturally I fired up the computer and started searching for ideas for the boys Halloween costumes, you know, because THAT needed to be done!
I'm hoping for a productive week so that next week I can sit back and relax at the cabin. Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend and a good start to the week.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Due Date

Today is August 5th. Today was my due date.

I said this date over and over and over throughout my pregnancy.

When are you due?
August 5th.

When are you due?
August 5th.

Repeat, repeat, repeat.

Yet in my heart every time I said it I knew that by today, by August 5th, our baby would already be here. So it surprises me a bit that this whole week every time I've packaged up a bag of breast milk and written the date (it's the only way I'm keeping track of the date these days) I've been counting down 'till August 5th. 'Till the day that he was supposed to be here.

Despite the fact that August 5th isn't Hutton's birthday I think this date will always be special to me, I think each year on this day I'll remember him, remember the anticipation of waiting for him to arrive, remember how excited we were to meet him, remember how much we loved him before we even met him.

Today is August 5th. Today was my due date.

Enjoying Today

We had a special visit today from my college friend and roommate, Sarah (Hi Sarah!). Sarah and her husband moved to Texas after graduation and we haven't seen each other in years...like probably 5 years, and yet she walked in the door today and it felt like it was just yesterday that we (and Karma) we're living in our apartment in Mountain Village. I love visits like that!

The boys also enjoyed having Sarah here - Keaton warmed right up to her which is uncharacteristic of him; for whatever reason he usually warms up to guys but not girls.

Sarah, it was great to have you here!

I missed yesterdays Enjoying Today post because Collin was home and we decided to tackle the project of cleaning and organizing the bedroom, which hadn't been done following the nesting induced face lift. When it's all done with the headboard in (Collin is in the garage finishing it up as I type this) and pictures hung I'll take you on a tour, but for now here is a sneak peek at what we were doing yesterday.

We'll be heading down to Illinois tomorrow for our friends' wedding on Saturday so look for Friday's Enjoying Today to come through Twitter. Wishing you all a great weekend.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Behind the Name: Hutton Andrew

As I mentioned in Keaton’s Behind the Name post, for several years Collin and I have had four names picked out for future potential children: 2 boy names and 2 girl names (if we ever have another boy we’re going to be in big trouble as our boy names have now been exhausted and we can not agree on a third boy name!) Several people know where Hutton’s name came from but only a couple know the full story. In fact, Collin doesn’t even know the FULL story. Why? Because the full story starts with Britney Spears and Collin H.A.T.E.S. Britney Spears.

Do you remember back in 2006 when Britney had her second son and there was a rumor that she had named him Sutton Pierce? That’s where this story begins….

I remember driving home from work one evening when the report came on the radio that Britney’s second son had been born and the name was announced. I remember repeating the name to myself as I pulled off the interstate onto Hwy J, Sutton. Sutton. I like that. And then instantly I thought: Wait! Hutton!

See my Grandma’s name was Phyllis Bender but before she became a Bender she was Phyllis Hutton. Hutton was her maiden name.

I instantly fell in love with the idea of naming a son after my Grandma but of course I had to run the choice by Collin, who is very opinionated when it comes to names. Thankfully he also loved it. And so it was, if we had a second son his name would be Hutton.

Because the name is different/unique/whatever word you’d like to use here, we decided we needed a more normal/traditional/whatever word you’d like to use here middle name. Andrew was an easy choice as it is also Collin’s middle name.

And just like that our second son’s name was decided upon: Hutton Andrew.

Cut to the first week of December of last year, shortly after we had gotten the positive pregnancy test….

We were on our way home from cutting down our Christmas tree when I started talking to Collin about names. And by talking I mean suggesting we change the boy’s name. I still wanted to use Hutton but I was lobbying for it to be in the middle name slot. I ran a couple of possibilities by Collin and he instantly vetoed them. He was adamant that if it was a boy the baby’s name would remain Hutton. He really wanted the nickname Hutt.

As I was making these suggestions I can only imagine that God was up there looking down me, slapping his head and saying, no, no, no, woman! Hutton. The name is Hutton!

This might be a little too much information for some people and for that I apologize, but when I think of my Grandma and I think of my son I realize there was a higher power at work here. See, Hutton was conceived within one day of the anniversary of my Grandma’s death (Nov. 11th) – if that’s not the circle of life I’m not sure what is. To make it even more special his due date was August 5th, which is also my Grandpa Bender’s (the love of Grandma’s life) birthday.

I believe God knew what he was doing when he sent us a little boy. This is a very special boy with a very special name, Hutton Andrew.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Enjoying Today

Helping Daddy build a bed side table for our room at the cabin.

And drawing all over the back of it.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Dear Keaton: 19 Months

Dear Keaton,

Last Friday you turned 19 months old. That morning we took you to the doctor for a check-up and I can’t believe I did this but I left the paper with your stats written on it in the exam room. I know your head circumference was in the 90th percentile – this did not surprise me as you have always had a big noggin’ in fact sometimes it’s difficult to get shirts on and off of you. You took a growth spurt since your last appointment and although I don’t know exactly how tall you were I know it was in the 75-90th percentile. I do remember your weight, 24 lbs, which put you in about the 50th percent I believe. Now, you may be wondering why I’m writing this and why you had a doctor’s appointment at 19 months instead of 18 months, it does seem a bit odd doesn’t it? Well there is a good reason, Bud. See, we had your 18 month check-up scheduled and I had planned on writing this letter at the end of June but two days before you turned 18 months old something big happened. Although you won’t have any memories of the day I believe it might be one of the most important days of your life. Two days before you turned a year and a half you became a big brother.

Everyone has been asking how you are taking to being a big brother and I’m proud to tell you that you have done wonderfully. You are already protective of Hutton, letting us know when he is crying and kissing him goodnight at bedtime. You love to touch his fingers and toes and sit by him on the floor when he is in the bouncer and you haven’t shown any signs of jealously (something I was admittedly worried about). So when people ask me this question I tell them you are doing great, the issues you are having these days have nothing to do with the new baby and everything to do with your age. You’re 19 months, Stink, and as everyone has warned us this is a difficult age. You like to test us, to see how much you can get away with. When we tell you no and you get upset you run away and look for something to hit. Sometimes we can ignore this behavior but when it is poor Maia that you run towards we have to intervene. And then it’s a battle of the wills. And Hoo Boy! do you have a will. It will do you good in future years, I’m certain of that, but right now it is exhausting for your Mama and Daddy. Your new thing is to give us what I like to call the “Stink Eye” – when you are upset one of your eyebrows goes up while you furrow the other one – for a toddler I’m impressed at how well you’ve mastered this evil eye.

But, for every bad thing I have to say about this age I have two good things. You are so much fun right now. You are such a hard worker and love to help me in the house and your Daddy in the yard. When I sweep you bring me the dustpan and lead me to the garbage can when we have the floor picked up. You haul a chair over to the sink to stand by me when I’m washing dishes and you come running if you hear me doing laundry. You started unloading the dryer for me so that you could climb in it but these days you just like the routine. You pull all the clothes out, I hand you the new ones from the washer to put in and when I tell you all done you slam the door shut and raise your arms so I can pick you up to push the button to start the machine. It is really adorable. Outside you like to work alongside Daddy, digging in the dirt, pulling weeks, whatever it is he is doing. The other day we were playing in the front yard when you filled up your wheelbarrow and then hauled it all the way to the far end of the yard to dump it because that’s what Daddy had showed you a couple of weeks ago. You have a memory that amazes us.

You are also very affectionate these days. You love to snuggle and give hugs and kisses and you won’t find me complaining about that. Sometimes when I’m sitting on the floor you’ll come up behind me and throw your arms around my neck and each time you do it I’m reminded of how lucky we are to be your parents. When you’re tired you lay your head on my shoulder and wrap your arms around me, sometimes tucking them in my shirt, other times patting my back and I know you feel safe because it never takes you long to fall asleep. At bed time you run around giving us all kisses goodnight and when company leaves you often dole out hugs and blow kisses while you wave bye bye.

Yes, 19 months might be a difficult age, but it is also a pretty awesome one. Right now you like to play with blocks and build towers, you line up matchbox cars on the windowsill and drive them all over the house, you love airplanes and tractors, you’d spend all day outside if you could, you love to swim and go for wagon and stroller rides and you keep the rhythm to any beat (music, the washing machine, a fan, etc.) by shaking your arms in the air. You are persistent, pay close attention to detail, and are shy with new people. You run at full speed and scream loudly when you are excited, you laugh wholeheartedly when you find something funny, and when we take pictures you give us a big cheesy grin. Yes, 19 months is a fine age.

I love you so much Stink and look forward to the months ahead.

Enjoying Today

We've spent the last few days visiting with family and friends: a trip to Green Bay on Saturday, a cookout with friends on Sunday, a visit from my aunt and uncle Sunday evening, and a visit from my cousin and her family today. There's been lots of snuggles for Hutton and lots of playing with cousins and friends for Keaton. It's been a good few days.
The heat and humidity seems to be upon us again so we spent today inside enjoying the cool air, eating leftover cantaloupe, and making a new dessert. It's been a good day. It's days like today that I can not even let my mind venture into the "return to work" thoughts because if I do I will cry. All I want is to be right here with these boys every single day.
Enjoying today.