Today you turned 1 month old. In some ways it feels like it was just yesterday we were welcoming you into the world and on the other hand it feels like you have been here for much, much longer than that. You have meshed into this family more smoothly than I could have ever expected. In fact, it is hard for me to remember what life was like before you were here, and frankly, I don’t want to. Your arrival, and especially the time we spent together in the NICU, has been a good reminder to me of what is important in life. In the past month I feel like I’ve become more patient and appreciative. Each and every night I go to bed and count my blessings and you and your brother are always the first things I list. No, I don’t want to remember life before you because I feel like I’ve become a better person since you got here.
As I write this you are sleeping peacefully on my chest. You’re gripping onto my shirt, suckling on your nuk, and breathing slowly in and out. If I could bottle moments like these I would. I love this hour when the house is quiet and I’m able to take in all that is you – your sweet baby smell, the little noises you make in your sleep, and the way you grip my thumb with all four fingers. I delight in this time and if I could sit right here in this moment forever I think I would.
You spent a great deal of this month snoozing as, technically, you shouldn’t even be here yet, and so far you’ve been a really good sleeper. You sleep in your bassinet out in the living room during the day and at night we wheel it into our room and place it right next to my side of the bed. I love being able to peek in on you easily, especially when you are making noises at night. My most favorite noise you make is one that sounds like a small billy goat. It makes me giggle every time I hear it. Within the past week though we’ve noticed that you are having longer and longer periods of alert time and when you are awake you are usually a pretty content little guy. You have big blue eyes and you love to look around, your eyes darting to each new sound. Your big brother loves it when I put you in the bouncer. He sits next to you talking to you and playing with your hands and feet. You always stare up at him and take it all in and I can’t wait until the two of you are able to play together.
Before you were born we knew that we’d call you Hutt for short, what we didn’t know is what other nicknames you might acquire. So far your Daddy hasn’t really used anything other than Hutt but I’ve found myself calling your Hutter Butters and every once in awhile Benjamin or Mini Me. Your Daddy hates it when I call you the latter two but I can’t help it, sometimes the faces you make look like an old man and I can’t help but be reminded of Benjamin Button and the way you move your limbs look like Mini Me from Austin Powers. Of course I call you these names in the most loving way possible Buddy, promise.
At one month old you love to be held and calm pretty easily to the sound of our voices or the touch of our skin to your cheek. You love to sleep on our chests and be snuggled on the couch or in bed. You hate bath time with a passion and let us know each and every time we subject you to the routine. You tolerate the bouncer and enjoy rides in the Ergo carrier. You take a bottle with no problem and eat like a champ, in fact two days ago I had you at the doctor’s for a weight check and you weighed in at 7 lbs 1 oz. You were a full pound bigger than we expected! Though I suppose I shouldn’t have been too surprised as you are now starting to fill out your newborn sized clothing.
This has been an amazing month Hutt; becoming your Mommy has changed me in so many good ways and I will be forever appreciative of that. The next several months, and even years, are going to go by so fast and having you here has taught me to slow down and enjoy each day, each moment. I just want you to know how much I love you; how much more complete our family feels because of you.
All my love,