Thursday, March 4, 2010

Slow Down

I hate living in a dirty/messy house. I don’t function well when things aren’t organized, but during weeks 6-11 of pregnancy I can hardly get off the couch to feed myself, let alone vacuum the crevices of the living room. So I don’t. And thankfully, for the sanity of everyone in this household, I don’t care. Collin did the best he could to keep the house clean during those weeks and I’m very grateful for that. But when you have a toddler and animals (OMG, the animals!!) the house is bound to become dirty. Now that my first trimester is over and I’m feeling good again I’ve started cleaning. Deep cleaning. I only plan on 2 rooms per week. With the toddler’s daily messes and the dog/cat hair (OMG, the hair!) that require bi-weekly vacuuming/sweeping I know I would not be able to accomplish much more than that.

Last Saturday I scrubbed the dining room clean. The floor, the windows, the furniture. On Sunday it was the living room. We sorted toys, cleaned the mantle, moved furniture to vacuum. I knew at the time it was probably too much and when I lay in bed on Sunday evening, my whole body aching, I was certain of it. On Monday I had to leave work early because I felt so lousy.

I told everyone I think I over-did it. My body just didn’t feel right.

Yesterday, and again this morning, I think I found out why. I’ve been spotting again. It’s brown blood, the “good” blood, but it still scares the crap out of me. I don’t know for sure that it was this weekend’s activities that caused it, but I feel it might have been.

I need to slow down.

The doctor warned me that this might happen; that as it heals I might have incidents where “it” tears again. Seeing the blood yesterday morning wasn’t shocking to me, but still, I cannot shake the fear of what it could mean - the risk of going early. I try not to spend too much time dwelling on it, but I’m nervous I’m going to go too early. I’m nervous that this baby is going to come before he/she is ready. And all I could think yesterday is that I need to do everything I can to prevent that.

I need to slow down.

7 comments:

Jill said...

I know the feeling on not liking the dirty house, but you said it...you need to SLOW down for your sake and the baby. Floors and windows will always need to be cleaned, but you need to take time for yourself and that precious baby and rest. And that is completely and 100% okay!! Hopefully you're laying on the couch with your feet up when you read this! :) My prayers are with you...

Gail said...

I can't say it any better than Jill already did...I hope you follow her advice. :)

My prayers are with you as well!

TeamNee said...

I was thinking along the same lines as Jill...the dirt will be there...the baby inside of you needs to be there as long as possible...so the dirt will wait until another day... ;)

Em said...

I have to agree with these ladies. As hard as it is to do, slowing down is indeed what's best for Mama and Baby right now. I'm glad to hear you've already started to do that, hon. Keep us posted on everything, okay? You're both in my daily prayers.

Anonymous said...

PLEASE take it easy- slow down and rest- your body is TALKING to you! I wish I was closer to help you guys out! I think it is time to call on Busha and Papa to help you guys out-- that baby needs to stay inside of you as long as possible! Your in our prayers! CaS

amanda said...

Maybe I'll win the lotto this weekend, and can hire you a maid! :) I have big plans for this lotto money...if only I could win! Until then, slow down sista! As always, you're in my thoughts and prayers!

Amy Bomstad said...

I hope that everything is going okay Kate! Bleeding during your pregnancy is SO scary. The worst thoughts go through your head. Everything will be fine...take it easy the rest of your pregnancy!

I am like that with living in a cluttered house...I feel like mine is every day! I just can't keep up anymore. Just think..someday we will be able to keep a clean house once again!