Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Recommended Reading

There are a number of situations in life that I do not believe we can ever fully understand unless we have been through them first hand. When we find a friend or family member in the midst of one of these situations it is sometimes hard to know what to do. Suffering from the loss of an infant or unborn child is one of these situations. Having not gone through this myself I am fully aware that I can not begin to comprehend the pain, but based on the knowledge I do have, I feel like this post is an excellent read for anyone who may be wondering what they should say or do for a loved one suffering from loss.

Go take a look, it is a really beautiful post.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Incontinence and heartburn....

.......the not so glamorous side effects of pregnancy.

There used to be a time when our Friday night norm consisted of going out to dinner and drinks after work and rolling into bed around midnight. Sometimes later. It's hard to remember those days now. Our new "norm" is to eat dinner as soon as we get home and then veg in front of the tv for the remainder of the night. Friday nights typically end now around 9:30 or 10 pm.

This past Friday we stayed up late...a whopping 10:30!! Can you believe it? Nothing about the night was out of the ordinary. My routine was the same as it is every night; wash my face, brush my teeth, take my supplements, and go to bed. So when I woke up at midnight, only an hour and a half after we had gone to sleep, soaking wet, I was alarmed. I shook Collin awake, Collin, Collin, get up, I just peed the bed! I was so confused by the whole thing...how did this happen? I always wake up at least 2 times a night to use the bathroom, not once have I been worried about wetting the bed. As I stood there looking at the sheets a frightening thought came over me, what if my water broke? Collin was pretty convinced it was pee and even suggested that maybe it was the dog (he's so nice like that, once after I gained weight and was complaining about how none of my pants fit he assured me it wasn't that I had gained weight, I must have shrunk them in the dryer), but I couldn't shake the thought that what if it isn't? I looked in my "What to Expect" book which noted that if you are laying down when your water broke it could be a gush, kinda like this. I called my mom and we decided I should call the doctor.

It happened to be my own doctor on call that night and after telling him what happened he said I needed to come in to be tested. At 12:30 am we got in the car and drove the 40 minutes north to the hospital. On the positive side, I got to see the birthing center, well, at least the triage room, which I was very impressed with. They hooked me up to the fetal monitor and the moment I heard that little thump thump, thump thump, relieve flushed over me. For two hours the nurse watched for any signs of contractions and ran the amnisure test to determine if it was my water.

Although they found I have a slight UTI, thankfully the amnisure test came back negative. I never thought I'd say this, but by God am I happy to find out that I peed the bed!!

I still don't have any answers as to why it happened. I had some flu symptoms over the weekend and all I can surmise is maybe this combined with pressure from the baby moving caused it? I don't know. I'm just hoping this isn't going to be a reoccurring event.

In addition to the incontinence, yesterday I started with the heartburn. People have been asking me for awhile if I've had any heartburn and I've been so happy to say NO! This has been awesome because before I was pregnant I dealt with heartburn all the time and can I just say that I really don't enjoy it. But yesterday it started with no warning at all. And guess what? I still really don't like it! I tried eating my lunch (1/2 a sandwich at a time) over a 2 hour period today and that helped, but I could still feel it.

In some more fun, positive news, I can tell Baby Madden (as we are now affectionately calling him/her) is getting longer. A couple of times today I could feel pushing on opposite sides of my belly at the same time. I can picture Madden in there with a look of frustration on his/her face has s/he tries desperately to stretch out and thinks...hey peeps, what's up with the cramped space, I thought I requested the luxury suite!

Saturday, October 25, 2008

5 years ago today*....(part 3)

(Click here for Part 1 and Part2)

It had been five weeks since our first date, six and a half since we meet, and life was good. No, no, that is an understatement, life was amazing; and I felt more like myself in those five weeks then I had felt in probably 2 years. We spent every weekend and as many week nights as we could together, meeting each others friends, going for drinks or dinner, and attending Admirals hockey games. We were having fun and it felt like I was wearing a permanent smile.

Even though our relationship was in its infancy, there was very much a seriousness to it. We both felt it from the very beginning and when we found ourselves alone the conversations always turned to the future. We talked about what we wanted for our lives and where we saw ourselves in 2, 5, 10+ years. They were the types of conversations that most people would avoid with a 10-foot pole, and for good reason. Talks like this could destroy a relationship, even if it had potential. But oddly, these talks didn’t scare us, in fact, they had the opposite effect, they were very calming.

On Friday, October 24, 2003 I called Collin from work and asked if he’d be interested in ditching our normal Friday night plans to go to a Milwaukee Bucks game. I had four tickets and told him to ask a couple of friends. By 7:00 that night we had piled into the car with Fluff & Mullins (the same two that were with Collin the night we met) and were on our way to the game. It was raining out so we ran as quickly as we could into the Bradley Center trying to avoid getting drenched. I hadn’t been to many Bucks games so it was particularly memorable for me.

Following the game we found ourselves at Club Brady. The bar was busy and what I remember most about that night was standing there with Collin, looking into his eyes as we talked and feeling like we were the only two in the room. He had this effect on me often in public. When I looked at him, when I held his hand, everything else around me seemed to disappear and it was just us. In those moments I felt like I could stand there, be there, forever and never get tired of it.

It had only been six weeks, but in that short amount of time I was certain of one thing. I wanted to spend the rest of my days with this man. So when we got home that night and he took me in his arms and asked me the one question that every girl dreams to hear:

“Will you marry me?”

I did not hesitate for even a second. “Yes. Yes, I will.”

Since it had only been six weeks we hadn’t yet met each other’s families. It was a whirlwind of a weekend, but one I will never, ever forget. That night we called our parents to tell them the news. Of course they were a bit shocked, but also very supportive. On Saturday morning Collin’s parents packed the car, drove two hours to Madison to pick up his sister, and another hour and a half to Milwaukee to help us celebrate. I should have been nervous about this meeting and I’m sure a part of me was, but mostly I was just excited. Everything about this felt right.

On Sunday we drove two and half hours south to have dinner at my parent’s house. We walked in the door and my parents were in the kitchen. My mom was smiling when she asked “are you guys sure about this?” To this day my Mom will tell you about Collin’s answer. It was only two words, but those two words set her completely at ease.

“We’re positive.”

It’s been five years; we’ve had some good times and some hard times, but when I look at Collin there is one thing that hasn't changed, I’m still positive.

* Okay, technically it was 5 years ago yesterday

Thursday, October 23, 2008

26-week Belly Shot

I can't believe it has been 5 weeks since I took the last belly shot. Its been on my to-do list for the past couple of weeks but somehow the weeks have come and gone and pictures have not been taken. My goal is to take them every two weeks from here on out.

Unfortunately it isn't just the pictures that have been lacking, I really haven't been doing a good job of documenting anything lately, so I thought I'd list a few things here that I'd like to remember:
  • As of 26-weeks I've gained 18 pounds
  • Two weeks ago I had some pretty horrible round ligament pain. It lasted for a solid 10 days and for that week and a half I walked around like a penguin, teetering back and forth, back and forth, because it hurt too much to put alot of pressure on my left leg.
  • The baby has been very active lately and has moved from little kicks to full body rolls. At night Collin and I play the "knock knock" game - he puts his hand on my belly and gives a little knock knock and the baby "knocks" back. It makes us laugh.
  • Last night I had another dream that the baby was a boy. In my dream we named him Madden. When I told Collin about it this morning he told me it was because as I was working on the computer last night he was watching the 1st game of the World Series and Joe Madden happens to be the manager of the Rays - apparently I overheard that more than I realized. Oddly, I kinda like the name, though we won't be changing from our originally picked names.
  • My mom came up and painted the nursery for us last weekend. I was so nervous about the color, but we're really happy with the way it turned out (pictures to come).

I'm going to try really hard to update more often around here during this last trimester because there are so many details I don't want to forget. So, on that note, more soon....promise!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Letter to the Baby

Dear Little One,

Today is the 1st of October, which means we have less than 4 months until we get to meet you. At the beginning of our pregnancy January felt so, so far away and now here we are, four months to go with a to-do list a mile long. Our goal for this coming month is to get your nursery painted.

Life has been busy and a bit stressful lately; last week in particular was a difficult one for your mama. Emotionally, physically, mentally, I was spent. Work is hectic right now and there is no sign of it letting up before the end of the year. One evening last week as your daddy and I sat at the dinner table I looked across at him with tears in my eyes and I told him that I hope the next few months aren’t as difficult as this week. I felt so down, so defeated, and getting out of the slump seemed nearly impossible. I don’t think it was any coincidence that that same evening I sat on the couch to relax and you started kicking. And I mean kicking. My tummy was moving all around and your daddy got to feel you kick for the first time. The tears that I had earlier in the night were gone and in their place was laughter as we watched you tumble around. You have been kicking and turning furiously since last week and each time you move I put my hand on my belly to feel you. I don’t want to miss a single movement.

Today we had our 23 week appointment and the doctor said you are growing nicely and measuring on target. He let your daddy be his assistant, having him find your heartbeat on the Doppler. As soon as he put the wand on my belly we heard your little heart thump, thump, thumping away at 162 beats per minute. I will never tire of hearing your heartbeat.

Even though we have 17 weeks left until we get to officially meet you, you are already filling our lives with joy. You turn the bad days into good ones and give me reason to keep trudging on. I love you little one, you are already the light of my life.

Love,
Mama