Friday, November 21, 2008

I fully expect to eat his/her Halloween candy too.

Yesterday I stole a gift that was given to us for our unborn child and used it for myself.

A couple of weeks ago at our Earlville baby shower I opened a gift from Gail that included, among other things, Johnson's Shea and Cocoa Butter Baby Lotion. As soon as I saw it the wheels in my mind were turning....cocoa butter? Hmmm....I'm out of pregnancy lotion (for stretch marks) and I bet this would work as a replacement, after all, it has cocoa butter in it.

When we got home I unpacked our gifts and, reluctantly, put the lotion in the baby's room. It's been there for almost two weeks. For two weeks I've been thinking about the cocoa butter lotion and for two weeks I've been refraining from digging into it. But yesterday I caved. My skin has been so taut this week that it has actually become uncomfortable and yesterday morning I realized the lotion I was using just wasn't cutting it. So I snuck into the baby's closet, found the lotion and indulged myself.

I planned on just using it on my belly, but before I realized it my entire body was covered in shea and cocoa butter baby lotion and it felt so good. I told myself that I would only use the lotion until I could get to the store and buy some more pregnancy lotion. Then I'd put it back on the shelf in the baby's room and no one would know the difference.

When I got into the office yesterday I went through my usual routine: take my coat off, log onto my computer, get my planner out of my bag, and then head to the bathroom. When I got in there I hiked my shirt up and slid the big 'ol panel down on my pants - man that sounds attractive. Even more attractive is the rest of the process, in which I throw my arms out in front of me in order to get the most control out of my squat to the toilet. If I had a personal trainer, I think he'd be happy with my form - and that's when it happened. As my hands made contact with my silky smooth, baby soft belly, I knew I owed Baby Madden an apology.

Sorry kid, but Mama's keepin' the lotion.


Rachel said...

You are giving the kid life, he can share her lotion and candy too.

Jess said...

I'm sure the happiness you feel on account of your soft skin is translating into a more pleasant womb experience for the baby. Or something.

Aubrey said...

Kate, we all have kids for selfish reasons. We know we crave the love and unwavering adoration that only a child can give you. We want to our "self" to continue on over generations.

And gosh darn it, who doesn't want all the cool things that come with babies. Awesome lotions (and you'll be using it more than you'll care to admit), fun toys, cute little clothes, soft blankets. All this stuff w/o the baby would just make you a little creepy. So take advantage of it. And as for Halloween candy, I think you'll be surprized at how much you'll get and how desperate it will become for EVERYONE to eat the baby's (or hopefully toddlers) candy!

Em said...

Good for you. The kid already has a ton of lotion--you're allowed to use some, too! ;) You're going to be like one of those parents that come to our door with their adorable infants all dressed up at Halloween, and I just look at them smirking, because I know that I'm giving THEM my miniature Snickers, not the baby... ;)

I think it's only fair, after the months you've been carrying the baby around inside you. Mama deserves a bit of moisturization and yum-yums. :)