I sneak out of bed, gently close the bathroom door, and like a mouse I rummage around in the cabinet, trying to be as quiet as possible so as not to disrupt those sleeping in the next room. If the news is good, I have a grand plan as to how I want to tell Collin. If the news is bad, I’m going to need a moment to collect myself before I head back to bed.
I quietly unwrap the package, say a quick prayer, and take the test. After I lay the test on the counter, I force myself to look away and I put my head in my hands. I know that I will not leave this room without knowing the truth. I know that when I look up in 60, 90 seconds I will have my answer. I’m deathly afraid. I rock back and forth asking God to give me the strength to get through this.
60 seconds in, I’m too overcome with hope and excitement that I put the worry aside and look up. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, two lines!!!!! I jump up, grab the test and examine it closer. Holy Shit, YES!!!! I pump my fist in the air and praise God. Thank you Lord. Thank you Mary. Thank you Saint Anne. I picture God looking down at me, a smile across his face, a giggle in his throat – he has made this child of his very, very happy.
I collect myself a tad, lean against the counter, and look into the mirror – you’re going to be a mother. This is happiest moment of my life.
My original plan in sharing the news with Collin involved making a run into town in the morning, but I grossly underestimated my excitement and there was NO WAY I could keep this a secret for even 5 more minutes. So quickly, I came up with plan B, which involved a sleeper I had bought 3 years ago for a friend that was too small for her baby. On it were two bears and the words “Daddy & Me.”
After finding the sleeper in the back of the spare bedroom closet, I creep back into our room. As soon as I slide open the door the dog pops her head up to look at me. “Hey Collin” I whisper…..he half opens his eyes and groggily says “yeah” – I showed him the sleeper and ask if he remembers it. I’m not sure I wait for an answer before I belt out “Maybe we can use it at the end of January, I’m Pregnant!!”
Baby Kono is due January 27th; we are so grateful for all of your thoughts and prayers over these long, hard months.
Here’s his/her first picture, taken on June 24th at 9 weeks. We are so in love.