Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Today I Salute You, Subway Sandwich Artist

I hate doing new things. It once took me weeks upon weeks to work up the courage to take the bus into work. What if I didn’t have the right change? What if I got off at the wrong stop? What if this bus didn’t go to downtown Milwaukee at all – even though it said “Downtown – Water Street” on the windshield? And I’m not just talking about big things (or what I would consider “big” things) like taking the bus for the first time or starting a new job or asking a new friend if she’d like to go for lunch. I’m talking any new thing, including getting my Subway sandwich at a new Subway.

There is a Subway about 5 minutes from our house; it is on the way home from just about anything we would go to. So, 90% of the time if we stop at Subway, this is the store we choose. When I’m running errands over lunch I will go out of my way to pick up a sub at this store, 100% of the time. Today however my errands took me nowhere in the vicinity of this Subway. And, luck would have it; there was a store right across the street from my last stop. I have to admit, I considered driving 15 min. out of the way to go to my Subway, but even I knew that was ludicrous. So I took a deep breath and went to a new store.

When I walked in there was a line 7 deep, but much to my surprise, the transaction went rather smoothly. As I walked out I was breathing a sigh of relief - I didn’t even get yelled at by the Sandwich Artist, which is what happened the last time I tried a new Subway.

Sandwich Artist: What kind of veggies would you like on your turkey/ham?
Me: Everything except for cucumbers and jalapeños.
SA: Do you want banana peppers?
Me: Yes.
SA: Okay, just so you know, banana peppers don’t come on The Works. So don’t ask for The Works if you want banana peppers.
Me (In my head): Dude, I didn’t fucking say The Works. I said EVERYTHING EXCEPT FOR CUCUMBERS AND JALAPENOS.
Me (out loud): uh……okay, thanks!

Ever since that little encounter every time we are at Subway and the SA asks what I would like on my turkey/ham Collin gives me a little nudge. I really have no idea what the hell that nudge is supposed to mean, but I have a feeling it is something along the lines of this: hurry up women and oh dear God don’t let anybody I know walk in here, my wife doesn’t know how to order her veggies.

After getting my lunch I went back to my car to head to work. As I was driving out of the parking lot waiting to get back onto Hwy 10 I sipped my coke and watched the cars pass, just waiting for a break in traffic to make my move. I noticed a couple of drivers in the passing cars giving me an odd look, but didn’t think all that much about it. I saw a break in traffic and I committed to the turn. I had one tire down before I realized it…..I wasn’t in the nice sloped entrance/exit area at all. No, I was driving straight off the curb. Oh Shit! I exclaimed, but it was too late, I was too far into the turn. I had to just finish it out now….BA BOOM! my car went as it hit the road and bottomed out. It wobbled back and forth a bit before getting its bearings.

Lucky of me, immediately following my graceful entrance onto the Hwy I got stopped at a red light. A red light surrounded by the cars that had just seen my dumb ass drive straight off the curb. I hate trying new things.


Em said...

This post made me laugh. I, too, get all sorts of crazy anxiety from trying even the simplest of new things. I guess I am a creature of habit. What's funny is, at the same time, I seem to constantly be taking on something new, because I'm afraid of being complacent and not challenging myself, so what does that really make me? A masochist? ;) Who knows...

CaSondra said...

you are so funny- I love it that you fit into the Kono family so "gracefully." Most things we do- have a few "bumps" here and there!