Tuesday, March 18, 2008

I have so much to tell you

On what NOT to say
Don’t tell a women who has just confessed to you that she is trying to conceive (regardless if that journey has been 1 month, 2 months, 8 months, 2 years, or 6 years) but is having some difficulties that it is because she is “stressing out too much.” Trust me when I say that we are already beating ourselves and our bodies up enough for not functioning correctly, we don’t need you to tell us, even if it is true, that it is OUR FAULT that they are not functioning. And also, when she tells you that no, actually there is something wrong, do not INSIST that no, it is because she is stressing out too much.

Unless of course you are in the market for a swift kick to the ribs.

Stressing out?? I’ll show you stressing out….right after I pile drive your ass to the ground. BE-OTCH.

On second opinions
Ever since my doctors appointment back in January a number of you have suggested that I get a second opinion. I agreed with you, but doing that would have required picking up the phone and making a call…to a NEW clinic. Here is an interesting little tidbit about me if you didn’t already know; I’m terrified of the phone. One time when I was about 10 years old I made my brother, my 6 year old brother! call to make me a hair cut appointment. With my NEIGHBOR! It’s not like I didn’t know her! To this day if I have to make a phone call to someone I don’t know I lock myself in the bathroom and take a deep breath before dialing. Okay, 3 deep breaths. Once in awhile Collin will find me shut in the bathroom when I’m on the phone with YOU! He always gives me a weird look, like I’m trying to hide something. In reality I am just very nervous on the phone. So, that’s why I hadn’t made the call.

But, last Tuesday Kira invited me to a talk on Infertility at the hospital she works at and the doctor moved me so much that the next day I made the appointment. No! No! I made TWO appointments. I made TWO separate phone calls to new clinics!!

Here’s the long story short: The Doc that was talking is a fertility specialist who is opening a new satellite clinic in the area and accepting new patients with no qualifications (which is what made me nervous, I couldn’t stop thinking that my journey hasn’t been that bad yet – I’m now starting to realize there is no predetermined hurdle you have to leap to enter that territory, everyone’s case is different). After hearing him talk I realized I have options and there is no better time to start working on these options than right now. So I called the next day but I couldn’t get in to see him until the end of April (the next time he will be in town). I also talked to their billing department and found out that although the hospital he will be working out of is covered under my insurance, since he is based out of Minneapolis it would be considered out-of-network for my coverage; which means it will be covered but not at the same rate (ie. I’ll have to start paying some out of pocket expenses). After talking to one of my friends at work, who has been through a lot of this already, she AGAIN suggested that maybe I should try to first get in with another doc and just see if they would prescribe the “next step” – which from talking to friends who have been through this and listening to the doc talk and all the reading I’ve done, I’m pretty sure is Clomid, or something of that sort; something to (hopefully) induce ovulation. So, I called the clinic this fertility specialist will be working through and got an appointment with a (regular gyn) doctor there. And guess how long it took me to get in there as a NEW patient?? 3 Weeks. 3 WEEKS! With my own doctor they couldn’t get me in for 6 weeks. I’m realizing now just how big of a problem that is. Overall I am just not happy with the care I’ve been receiving from my current clinic, so I’m confident that this was a good decision, whatever happens from here on out, it is time for me to move on.

So, my appointment is April 4th and Kira told me last night that she’s heard good things about the doc I’ll be seeing. If this first appointment goes well, I will cancel the appointment with the specialist at the end of April. If I’m not happy with it, I’ll go see him too.

I’m so excited to hopefully get the show on the road.

On Girls Nights
I think there should be some sort of law that requires all women to participate in a Girls Night at least once a month. My trip to Milwaukee was all-around really great; but the highlight by far was dinner with the girls on Thursday night. Can I just tell you for a second how much I love these girls?? I called April on Tuesday night, two nights before I was supposed to arrive in town, to confirm that I was indeed coming. She, in turn, sent out an email that evening to Emily, Jen, Kelly, and Jamie asking about dinner plans on Thursday night. And all 6 of us were there! It was so lovely. We ordered a bottle of wine and talked for 3 hours before the manager came over asked if everything had been okay. It was then we finally realized that the place had pretty much cleared out with the exception of us. Here’s to good times with good friends! Thanks girls, I really needed that!

On my current feelings for M@ry K@y sales people
What I recall you saying to us at dance class was “I’ve just started selling MK, would you guys be willing to help me out and be models some evening?” Now, maybe I’ve jumbled the words in my mind. Or hell, maybe I made them up completely. But I can tell you that I was just a little surprised when we walked in last night and realized the only people we’d be modeling for was US. Also, I didn’t realize by “just started” you meant “have been selling for 10 years.” Lastly, I found it just a little interesting that we happened to come on a night that following our “modeling” there was a new salesperson’s recruitment meeting. That, you know, we could stay for if we’d like. All we have to do is watch the DVD and then we could get FREE STUFF. Doesn’t that sound grand?

Your products actually look nice, but the fact that you pulled out your calculator and pen before we’d even made it through the catalog made me that much more determined NOT to make a purchase.


Em said...

1) Don't you hate it when people argue with you over what the problem is? As if anyone really has any idea! "Just relax." That's your problem. Whatever...

2) Have I mentioned how happy I am that you went to see the fertility specialist speak, and that you have second opinion appts. lined up? I am very optimistic and happy for you...I think this is just what you need to move on to the next steps, which yes, would seem to me to be ovulation induction via Clomid or a similar medication.

3) I'm so happy you had a great girls' night while in Milwaukee...how fun (and much needed for you). :)

4) Blech... just another reason why I could never be a salesperson...

Love you, hon! :)

Gail said...

I hate people sometimes!

I smiled to myself while reading your post - you just sounded so optomistic! I too am happy to hear that you went to hear the specialist and are checking out new Doctors. I'll be praying for you, Kate.

Jess said...

Knowing that you are, like me, afraid of the phone makes me feel somewhat better because you seem so...so...so cool! :-) Good luck with your upcoming appointments.

Em said...

I forgot to comment on being afraid of the phone, too! :) Jess made me think of it. Apparently, this is a wider epidemic than we thought...could it be a generational thing???

Kate said...

Jess - You're making me blush. Stop that!

Em - maybe it is a generational thing? Whenever they ask "how would you like to be contacted?" I always ALWAYS say "by email" - shit I'd rather you show up at my house over talking on the phone. Well...maybe not, but you know what I mean! Also I NEVER answer a phone call from a number that isn't in my address book. Does anyone else do this?

Thanks everyone for the good luck and prayers!

Aubrey said...

Kate, wow! This is a jam packed blog. I love this. Yes, it's all stress related. You should stop stressing. But really? Who doesn't have stress? I just went to MOPS and the whole thing was about stress. And truly it probably has something to do with stress levels, because everything has to do with stress. But come on people...if it was stress, they'd be able to solve infertility issues with a weekend at a spa with your best girlfriends. AUGH! Oh, I should mention my stress is through the roof right now. So I'd love to sock those women with you, but my head hurts too much for real physical exertion.

I am so proud of you for calling the drs. I am suffering from the same dragging your feet syndrome! I haven't seen a dentist in over 10 yrs and gyn since I had Gabe over 3 yrs ago. Hmm...maybe I should be inspired by you. I'm hoping everything will get sorted out for you and a great game plan will get formed for this issue in your life.

Girls night out. Definitely should be mandated by the gov somehow. Hmm...wasn't one of us going to try to join the gov? We could be trying to pass this law right now. I blame the kids that I can't right now. What's your excuse? Stress? Ha! (Please take this lightly as it is meant.)

I'm a salesperson. I think this lady has quite schpeal. I have found over the years that I'd much prefer an Avon lady over Mary Kay. Do you think they teach that crap? Eck! No one needs makeup that badly do they?

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed talking with you the other night, and it made me think a lot. Don't you love it when people try to push things on you? Come on, like we were born yesterday? Anyway, I'm so excited you went to see a fertility specialist, and I hope you can find some answers to your questions. I'm thinking of altering some of my travel plans this summer to include Steven's Point...are you up for a guest????
Love always, Amanda

Kate said...

Aubrey - Did you know my mom used to sell Avon?? Reading this brought back so many memories. I remember when the boxes would arrive at the house and we'd sort out all the orders and then ride our bikes around town making deliveries. Those were the days. I wish I was a kid again, with summer vacation. Also, I agree, I prefer an Avon lady over Mary Kay I think because they don't seem so pushy. It's more like hey, here's the catalog, let me know if you want to place an order. Not, let me hover over you and breath down your neck while you look at the products and tell you how wonderful each and everything is and oh my gosh your world will not be the same unless you make a purchase. And look! If you buy this set today it is only $299 (seriously, she said that!). I just want to yell, dude, get off of me already!

Amanda - of course, you are ALWAYS welcome! Keep me posted on dates, I can't wait!!