See, the thing is, I’m frustrated….no… I’m beyond frustrated, I’m border line pissed. Although the progesterone worked and my period started at the end of January, I’m now on CD27, the day before a “normal” woman would begin her period, and so far I’ve had no conclusive evidence that I’ve ovulated. The doctor told me that it wasn’t necessary to chart my BBT (basal body temperature) this month; he said I could do that after I get on a normal monthly schedule. But I had to. I’m sick and tired of being patient and waiting it out. I did that between the months of October and January, when I had to wait 3 months before they’d let me schedule an appointment. By tracking my temperature changes at least I felt like I was doing something. In the end I can’t change whether or not I actually drop an egg, but by temping at least I have a little more knowledge of what is going on.
A little over a week ago my temperature spiked, and for those that have ever had to do this, you know that is a good sign. Although I only had two days worth of temps I really thought it had happened and I was high on life. What made it even better was that we had BD (baby dance – aren’t you loving these terms?) on the suspected ovulation day. But, I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up, a couple of days later my temps plummeted and Fertility Friend changed their stance from “ovulation detected” to “ovulation NOT detected”. Grrrrr. I wanted to throw things, I wanted to yell….oh wait I did do a lot of the latter. Poor Collin, I’ve been such a BITCH this week.
So here I am, another month almost gone and although I know that I need to be patient, and I know that things happen for a reason, and I know it is all on God’s plan. Knowing these things doesn’t make any of this any easier. I just want my body to work, to give me a chance at conceiving. Just a chance. Is that too much to ask?
But where were we? Oh yes, Feng Shui….so this morning when we woke up to a snowstorm and our plans for the day were pretty much canceled I dug out the book Ma Kono gave me a couple of years back. I had to reread to remember how this all works and for those who are unfamiliar, here are the basics (very basics, as really I have no idea what I’m talking about). There is a 9 quadrant octagon called a Bagua that has the following categories: prosperity, family, skills & knowledge, fame & reputation, health, career, relationships & love, creativity & children, helpful people & travel. You lay this Bagua on the top of the floor plan of your home to determine which area of your house ties to each category. Then, in order for the flow of positive energy to take place, you are supposed to place certain objects, colors, and materials in each of these spaces. There are a lot more specifics on how you do this, but that’s the basics.
In our case the creativity & children area fell in our breakfast nook and the back half of our mud room. To enhance this area of your life you are supposed to include the following: metal, round stuff, earth, and the colors white & yellow, among other things. Ma Kono also told me I should put pictures of children in this area. Luckily, our breakfast nook is painted gold, which I’m counting as yellow, so that helps. But, to make things even more conducive to this positive flow of energy….if this shit even works, who knows, but dude, I’m desperate….we moved some things around and added some stuff to our walls today.
First, I moved this pathetic looking fern, that has been sitting in front of the register and slowing dieing each day, to the breakfast nook area. This is killing two birds with one stone as it is both earth and in a round pot. Score. I also went rummaging around in the basement and found a yellow and white table runner that had some sort of candle stain on it and was never likely to be used as a table runner again and pinned it around the base of the planter to hide the ugly black container it came it. Yellow and white. Double score. Also a lot cheaper than buying a new planter.
Then, we moved into the mud room. I painted this room last April and shortly after that we bought these shelves. Today, we finally hung the shelves and added pictures of some of our favorite children.
I plan to buy some white flowers for the table the next time we go grocery shopping and I'm also now in the market for some metal sconces to hang around the picture that is on the wall opposite of the table.
Will all of this really help us to conceive? I have no idea, but I'm really happy those shelves are finally hung.