Monday, January 28, 2008

Irritable and Agitated

For the past two or three days I have been extremely irritable and easily agitated. I wish I could chalk it up to PMS, but Hello! that just got over!! I can’t exactly pin point what is stressing me out, but I think it might have something to do with the month of January coming to an end.

This sounds incredibly stupid even to me as I type it, but January has been a very relaxing month for us. We have been home for the past four weekends in a row with no major plans and I’m not kidding when I say this may be the first month in over four years that this has happened. In a typical month if we are home even one weekend without plans we’re doing pretty good. But this has been 4 blissful weekends in a row.

So I’m sure you’re thinking, what exactly is the problem then? The problem is I haven’t taken advantage of this time off at all. And now our free weekends are coming to an end and I don’t feel like I’ve accomplished anything in the past month. Here is just a short list of things that have not been done:

1) Clean den – this room looks like some sort of natural disaster site, but instead of getting in there and picking things up I shut the door and try to forget the room exists. I plan on painting it the last weekend in Feb. but if it doesn’t get cleaned there is no way in hell I’ll be able to paint.

2) Make the remainder of our Christmas gifts and get them in the mail – Christmas was over a month ago now and I still haven’t gotten everyone their gifts. I’ve been using the excuse that they might not ship well, but that doesn’t quite work for the friends that are here in town and we’ve seen at least 4 times since Christmas!!

3) Make very important phone call to friend from high school – I have no idea what my problem is here. I haven’t talked to her in over two years and I’m ecstatic to finally be back in touch, yet I can’t seem to find the time to make the call.

I might be able to shake these things off and cut myself some slack if I could just tell you what exactly I HAVE been doing for the past month. But the thing is I have NO IDEA!

I have always been the queen of procrastination, this is nothing new, but wouldn’t you think I’d learn? After 28 years of this wouldn’t you think I’d realize that procrastinating always leads to me feeling very overwhelmed and stressed out? In all this time wouldn’t you think I’d realize that I don’t particularly like feeling overwhelmed and stressed out?

Obviously the answer is No. Because I can’t exactly tell you what I have been doing for the past two days, but I can tell you it wasn’t any of the items listed above.


Em said...

I'm sorry you're feeling stressed, Kate. I know I do this same thing to myself, too. I say cut yourself some slack, those list items will get done, though I know the fact that they're not done will still cause you stress. In the Dale Carnegie Class I took last year, the principles for dealing with stress and anxiety, they instructed us to ask ourselves of a particular situation: "What's the worst that could happen?" So, ask yourself, if I don't clean the dean, what's the worst that could happen? You'll probably push out painting the room a week or two. No biggie. Same with the other two...what's the worst that could happen? Both involve friends who love you very much and won't think anything of it if they don't happen right away. I'm sure, even if you can't pinpoint exactly what you've done the past month, it has been an important one...because maybe you finally got the break you needed!

Aubrey said...

Yes Em! Well said. By the way, I LOVE this picture of you! We have a room the same as the den. Its filled with shit and never seems to get cleaned out except in the spring. So, I'm letting it go. Every once in a while, I'll go do a little something in there and it seems to make a BIG difference in how I'm feeling about it.

As for calling Tosh, any of us could do it for you or just wait until you know you've got time. After 2+ yrs, a few weeks will be nothing. Plus you can drop her a line through again and let her know you're thinking about her.

Christmas presents...well, sometimes recatagorizing something will make you feel better about it. Could you call them Valentine presents? Or if you need more time, St. Patty's Day presents? I love to do this when I've forgotten something...which seems to happen more frequently as of late.

And, I'm sure in the 4 weekends you've had to yourself, you and Collin have relaxed and enjoyed Maia. Maybe slept a bit? Watched some movies. Tried a new wine? Worked out. All of these things are well deserved. Its the middle of the winter. The perfect time to justify cuddling on the couch. Sometimes you have to take time for yourselves and let the rest go for a bit of time. And I'd bet that now that you've written them down, you'll get them done in due time!

Kate said...

Thanks girls, you're comments made me feel better. You guys are both right, we've needed this break for a long long time. Months really. And I did do alot of sleeping in and at least I'm somewhat back on an exercise schedule. Both of which were things I needed, even if they weren't on the list.

So, how do you guys feel about getting May Day gifts?

Michele said...

Kate -

I'm thinking that you haven't accomplished what you have wanted to, because you need and deserve some time off! Everything will get done, and just remember - you've set the deadlines, so you can just as easily push them out. :)
Glad you were able to enjoy your birthday month without any concrete weekend plans.